instant Humour » Work/Office Humor

An Engineer In Hell

admin — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 09:55:19 +0000

An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone [...]

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New Evidence

admin — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 09:42:48 +0000

The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge’s chambers, demanding that the case be reopened, saying: “I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client’s defence.” The judge asked, “What new evidence could you have?” The lawyer replied, “My client has an extra [...]

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How Far Away Were You?

admin — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 09:44:02 +0000

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him, “Did you actually see the accident?” The witness: “Yes, sir.” The lawyer: “How far away were you when the accident happened?” The witness: “Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches.” The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): “Well, sir, will you tell the [...]

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Who Is Liable?

admin — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 09:37:54 +0000

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, “Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my [...]

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The Mediating Lawyer

admin — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 09:27:18 +0000

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put [...]

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Doctor Or Lawyer

admin — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 09:24:03 +0000

A lawyer, who was talking to his son about entering college, said, “What got into your head that you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?” “Well, dad,” answered the son, “did you ever hear anybody get up in a croud and shout frantically, ‘Is there a lawyer in the house?’ “ Doctor [...]

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The Best Salesman Ever – Part 2

admin — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 19:18:31 +0000

The Best Salesman Ever An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the [...]

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A Lawyer’s Fee Structure

admin — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 09:37:35 +0000

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. “Can you tell me how much you charge?”, said the client. “Of course”, the lawyer replied, “I charge $200 to answer three questions!” “Well that’s a bit steep, isn’t it?” “Yes it is”, said the lawyer, “And what’s your third question?” A Lawyer’s [...]

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Think Like a Lawyer

admin — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 09:17:42 +0000

The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, “If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?” The student replied, “Here’s an orange.” The professor was outraged. “No! No! Think like a lawyer!” The student then replied, “Okay. I’d tell him `I hereby give and [...]

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The Restricted Hotel

admin — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:29:16 +0000

Rivkah Green from Denver decided to go on vacation to Miami in the 1920′s. Upon arriving she attempted to check her baggage and settle into a quality hotel. The concierge told her, “Sorry, there’s no vacancy.” Just then, a man and his wife suddenly checked out. Rivkah exclaimed, “Thank God! You now have a room.” [...]

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