Blonde Car Accident

What is the first thing a blonde does after a bad car accident?

Turn off the ignition?

NO

Get away from the car in case it explodes?

NO

Call Police, Fire or ambulance on her phone?

NO

Call her insurance broker?

NO


What is the first thing a blonde does after a bad car accident?

Brush her hair!

Blonde Jokes: What does a blonde do after a bad car accident
Funny Blonde Joke

The Blonde Deputy Sheriff

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job.

“Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “what is 1 and 1?”

“Eleven,” she replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but she’s right.” “What two days of the week start with the letter ‘T’?”

“Today and tomorrow.”

He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

“Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?”

The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, “I don’t know.”

“Well, why don’t you go home and work on that one for a while?”

So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. The blonde was exultant. “It went great! First day on the job and I’m already working on a murder case!”

The Blonde Secretary

The Boss was very much infuriated when he saw the new secretary ignore the telephone when it was ringing.

“You must answer the telephone,” he told her irritably.

“All right,” she replied, “but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it’s for you!”

The Blonde Parachute Jumper

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”

“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.”

After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”

Blonde Dent Remover

A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a REPAIR shop.

The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow INTO the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing INTO her car’s tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.

Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, “What are you doing?”

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow INTO the tailpipe in ORDER to get all the dents to pop out.

Her roommate rolled her eyes and said… “HELLLLOOOO … You gotta roll up the windowwwws..

The blonde painter

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”

The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. ”

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Football demystified

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right at the fifty yard line. It was exciting too, a real nail biter. After the game, he asked her if she had a good time.

“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tightpants and all the big muscles, but… I just couldn’t understand why they were all killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like…Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents!”

The blonde Patient in pain

A girl says to her doctor, “You have to help me. I hurt all over.” She touches her right knee with her index finger and says, “Ow! That hurts.” She touches her left cheek with her index finger and says, “Ouch! That hurts, too.” She touches her right earlobe with her index finger and says, “Ow! Even that hurts.”

The doctor says, “Are you a natural blonde?”

She replied, “Yes. But How did you know?”

The doctor says, “You have a broken finger.”