Archive for the 'Men Women and Marriage Jokes' Category
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asks, “Do you know her?”
“Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split […]
A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone. After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her, “Er… excuse me, would you mind if I sat here beside you?”
She responds in a loud voice : “NO, I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH […]
One day a man walks into a dentist’s office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.
“Eighty dollars,” the dentist says.
“That’s a ridiculous amount,” the man says. “Isn’t there a cheaper way?”
“Well,” the dentist says, “if you don’t use an anaesthetic, I can knock it down to $60.”
“That’s still too expensive,” the […]
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.”
“Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time […]
A Doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.
The Doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his wife, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home.
After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone. “What took you […]
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy.
The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect.
At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down […]
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
“Hurry!” she said, “stand in the corner.”
She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.
“Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.”
“What’s this, honey?” the husband […]
