Archive for the 'Kid Jokes' Category
A young boy enters a barber shop.
The barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes [...]
At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny, what is the matter?”
Little Johnny responded, “I [...]
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: “WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!”
He smiled smugly as he [...]
A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.
“Now listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever yo do to that poor, defenceless creature i shall personally do to you”
“In that case,” said the boy, “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”
A well dressed business man was walking down the street when a little kid covered in soot said to him respectfully, “Sir, can you tell me the time?” The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket, removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said, “It is a quarter [...]
Little Susie was Mommy’s helper. She helped set the table when company was due for dinner. Soon, everything was on, Mr. Smythe the guest came in, and everyone sat down.
Then Mother noticed something was missing…
“Susie, dear,” she said, “You didn’t put a knife and fork at Mr. Smythe’s place.”
“But, Mommy, I thought he wouldn’t need [...]
Little Johnny was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, “How was I born?”
“The stork brought you to us.”
“Oh,” said Little Johnny. “Well, how did you and daddy get born?” he asked.
“Oh, the stork brought us too.”
“So. . . how were grandpa and grandma born?” “Well, darling, the stork brought them too,” said [...]