Archive for the 'Funny Jokes' Category
A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting.
“You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear.”
At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the […]
A man and his young son are in the drugstore when the son comes across the condoms and asks his father what they are.
The dad replies, “Well son, those are condoms and they’re for protection when you’re having sex.”
The son then picks up one of the packs and asks why it has three in it.
The […]
Two nude statues (one male and one female) had been standing in the middle of a beautiful park for 99 years. On their 100th anniversary in the park an angel came down from heaven to talk to the statues.
He said to them, “God has been watching you for the past 100 years and has been […]
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch.
“How’d you end up with a peg-leg?” asks the sailor. “I was swept overboard in a storm,” says the pirate. “A shark bit off me whole leg.”
“Wow!” said the seaman. “What about the hook?”
“We were boarding an […]
There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed he got up to go home.
As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face.
Well […]
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.
The first Catholic woman tells her friends “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father.’”
The second Catholic woman chirps, “My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him ‘Your Grace.’”
The third Catholic crone says “My son is a […]
One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.” His friend offered, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your […]
