instant Humour » Funny Jokes

Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 05:11:06 +0000

A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding… Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma’am, I’m afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don’t have one. Traffic Cop: Don’t have [...]

Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies is one of the many jokes from: instant Humour

Did You Cheat?

admin — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 05:42:28 +0000

There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally got pregnant and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see [...]

Did You Cheat? is one of the many jokes from: instant Humour

Cowboy Boots

admin — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 06:53:19 +0000

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, are in Alberta . Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?” Margaret looks him over, “Nope” Frustrated Bert [...]

Cowboy Boots is one of the many jokes from: instant Humour

Emergency Dump

admin — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 11:23:00 +0000

Burford is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use the lobby Men’s Room, but all of the stalls are occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in desperation, he drops his [...]

Emergency Dump is one of the many jokes from: instant Humour

How Arabs Talk

admin — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 16:26:43 +0000

An Arab student sends an e-mail to his dad, saying: Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train. Your son, Nasser [...]

How Arabs Talk is one of the many jokes from: instant Humour

God’s Wit

admin — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 14:38:03 +0000

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live..” Upon recovery, the woman decided to [...]

God’s Wit is one of the many jokes from: instant Humour

What Did Eve Say To Adam?

admin — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 09:00:22 +0000

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea”, said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to [...]

What Did Eve Say To Adam? is one of the many jokes from: instant Humour

My Son is… – Part 2

admin — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 17:51:53 +0000

My Son is… – Part 1 Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joy. He started working at [...]

My Son is… – Part 2 is one of the many jokes from: instant Humour

Alzheimer’s Or Parkinson’s?

admin — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 15:29:38 +0000

Alzheimer’s Or Parkinson’s? Which one would you rather have? PARKINSONS of course! Better to spill half your drink than forget where the f**k you put it! Alzheimer’s Or Parkinson’s? is one of the many jokes from: instant Humour

Alzheimer’s Or Parkinson’s? is one of the many jokes from: instant Humour

What Portion To Keep

admin — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 17:30:18 +0000

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle God [...]

What Portion To Keep is one of the many jokes from: instant Humour