Archive for the 'Animal Jokes' Category
Dear Dog,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing […]
Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, “I’ll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren’t any ducks out there, I’m not going hunting.”
So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, “Well […]
A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI.
“Well,” says the personnel director, “you’ll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute.”
Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute.
“Also,” says the director, “you must pass a physical and complete […]
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to […]
A guy walks into a pet store and, amused by it’s colorful language, decides on a whim to buy a parrot which the store owner has at the front counter with a 1/2 price sign posted on the cage.
After he gets his new pet home, he discovers the reason for the bargain price - the […]
There once was a bear and a rabbit who hated each other. For years, they had been sworn enemies; and due to the bear’s greater strength and size, he usually got the better of the rabbit. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.
The bear […]
There were these three farmers that wanted to win the state fair contest for having the largest hog. They decide that they should stick a cork in the pig’s ass and feed him for a month before the fair.
The only problem was that none of them wanted to be the one to stick the cork […]
