A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it and order from there.”

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man’s table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.

“Ah, yes, that’s what I’ll have — meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”

Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner’s wife. He tells her what had just happened.

The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.

“Sir, remember me? I’m the blind man.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you. I’ll go get you a dirty fork.”

The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, “That smells great. I’ll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli.”

Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he’s going to test him.

The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.

He tells his wife, “Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man.”

Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.

“Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you.”

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, “Hey I didn’t know that Mary worked here…”

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A young couple once rented a cabin near a lake for a vacation.

He liked to fish, and her favorite pastime was reading. One morning, the husband rose early and took the boat out on the lake. He returned around noon, and went to the cabin for a nap. The wife looked at the little boat and thought it might be nice to read her book on the water. Though she knew nothing about boats, she managed to row into a nice, calm area of the lake and settled down to read.

After a short time the Game Warden motored up in his boat and asked her what she was doing. Although she thought it was obvious, she responded, “I’m reading a book.”

“You’re in a restricted fishing area, I’ll need to take you in and write you up for this”, he said.

Astounded, she argued, “But I’m not fishing. You saw me here, reading my book!”

“But you have all the necessary equipment,” he said, pointing out the poles, nets, and bait her husband had left in the boat, “so I’m going to cite you for fishing in a restricted area.”

“Then I will press charges on you for rape”, she said.

“Rape!? I haven’t touched you!”

“No,” she said, “but you have all the necessary equipment.”

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